“No” is a complete sentence. “No” is one of the shortest words in the human language—likely the first word issued by most of us as babies. “No” is an almost universal word, understood regardless of other language barriers.
“yes” and “no” are words that make us responsible for our thoughts and actions. If we say “yes,” we’re accountable for fulfilling whatever we agreed to. If we say “no,” we must accept that another may be upset.
It is OK to say “no” to conserve energy and define priorities. For instance, if you’re feeling overwhelmed with work and a friend asks for a favor, it’s perfectly acceptable to say ‘no’ to protect your well-being.
We’re often in great demand because we’ve developed and collected extensive experience and connections over the years! So learning to determine when we need to say “no” is very important. The fact is, we really can’t do all that we’re asked for a variety of reasons—and if we try to, we’re potentially increasing our likelihood for illness triggered by physical and emotional stress. Not saying ‘no’ can lead to burnout and a decline in mental and physical health.
When we need to say “no,” there is no need to over-explain or justify our position. “No” is “no.” But if, like many of us, we’ve said “yes” throughout life when we really wanted or needed to say “no,” here are four strategies for getting comfortable with using the word when we need to conserve our energy:
1) Just practice saying “no.” Get used to the sound of it coming out of your adult mouth. 2) If “no” still feels too hard, practice saying this with a smile: “Thank you for asking. I’m flattered but I can’t do it. I appreciate your understanding.”
3) When possible, offer a suggestion. Maybe there is someone else or some other way you can envision the request being fulfilled: “I’d love to help but I can’t. Perhaps you can…”
Then, 4) Remove yourself or change the subject.
Remember, it’s okay to say ‘no.’ You have every right to consider your response and reply within your own timeframe, especially if you need to think about your answer. Don’t rush into saying ‘OK’ (another short word). It’s okay to say ‘no’ and move on without feeling guilty. Your well-being is important. Give it a try.
Lots more ways for you to learn more about yourself for greater personal and professional success here: https://www.perception-dynamics.com/perception-dynamics-the-programs
