We all translate the language of others into our own. The issue is that we listen with our ears, think with our vocabulary, interpret with our brains, draw on our experiences, and add our beliefs and perceptions to the mix.
Truly understanding this? Very difficult. But by accepting it as a truism, we can begin to release the need to control others, recognize our illusions, and identify and edit unproductive communication patterns in our relationships. Further, we can shift our focus to taking full responsibility for ourselves with the understanding that our past experiences have programmed us and consequently impacted our choices and actions. And all of this, for better, worse, or neutral, will also influence the reactions of people around us and towards us.
If I communicate by doing my best to accept what I feel, think, say, and do — I am taking responsibility for my life. From this, I can genuinely open myself up to communicating deeper feelings with those who are important to me. Further, I can listen better to those others without getting emotionally caught up in the predicaments they must go through to grow.
The benefit of owning responsibility for ourselves and allowing others to do the same is the first step to genuine connection: We’re all on different journeys, though we can still connect, support, and honor the challenges we each face. Indeed, there are times when we all need help. But nobody needs or wants the “help” that is unsolicited, intrusive, or controlling. This type of “help” can hinder the growth another needs and may also seem disrespectful or patronizing. It’s also important to recognize that only some people want or need the same kind of help. Peace of mind is found when we resign as general managers of the Universe and instead focus on managing ourselves.
Thanks for visiting! I’m Dian Griesel, Ph.D. aka @SilverDisobedience I am a perception analyst & hypnotherapist who works with private clients to help increase their awareness of how perceptions impact everything we do whether personally or professionally. Book an appointment here.
I share inspiring and actionable ideas for free via my podcast, on my website: DianGriesel.com and also on my social media accounts which you might like to follow.
