Rejection is a part of life for everyone. Sometimes no matter how we try, our efforts are resisted and met with rejection.
Neuroscience proves rejection is physically and mentally painful because the same areas of the brain where physical and emotional pain are processed, are activated when we feel rejected. Worse is the tendency to torture ourselves by mentally reliving the circumstances over and over, or sharing the situation with others, which floods us with the original feelings.
Rejection is often accompanied by a deep sense of disconnect, anger and even possibly aggression. These feelings might be projected toward others—while our self-esteem suffers a knockout punch if we emotionally linger on what we did wrong or, worse, what is wrong with us.
Rejection is not a confirmation that we lack worth, talent, value or love. Rather, painful as it might be, what is happening is a lack of real connection. It’s better to know connection is lacking sooner rather than later—whether with a mate, boss or client—because maintaining the illusion of a connection only becomes more hurtful over time.
When facing rejection, acknowledge it hurts.
Then What?
Admit you’re feeling sad, embarrassed, discouraged or disappointed. Pretending it was irrelevant denies your emotions and only temporarily buries the hurt.
Be kind to yourself. Beating ourselves up doesn’t help. Reach out to others you trust, who will allow you to vent. Talk with a professional if you need help.
“YOU are not your rejection.”
You are not your rejection. You are not suddenly a loser, worthless, unlovable, incapable or any other negative adjective. Maintain your dignity no matter which way the circumstances are heading.
Name calling, begging and pleading are not effective forms of communication and at best they compromise dignity, making the situation and sense of rejection worse. A decision has been made; if you can’t change it, acceptance is in order.
Rejection is a good teacher. Reflect on what you’ve learned from the experience, however painful. But keep more of your energy focused outside of yourself, preferably spending time being physically active. Socialize with others. Be kind to yourself—and better yet, get out and be kind to others. Helping another will remind you that you have love to give, are valuable and are valued and appreciated. Remind yourself of your good points. And know this: The pain will pass.
If you want to listen to this as a podcast — here’s the link! https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/ti5lek9W7Hb
Thanks for visiting! I’m Dian Griesel, Ph.D. aka @SilverDisobedience I am a perception analyst & hypnotherapist who works with private clients to help increase their awareness of how perceptions impact everything we do whether personally or professionally. Book an appointment here.
I share inspiring and actionable ideas for free via my podcast, on my website: DianGriesel.com and also on my social media accounts which you might like to follow.
