It is always helpful to remember that the most extreme headlines, along with the most radical comments are the ones that get published and publicized. Often these are out of context snippets of what was said or happened. Media seeks the caption that attracts the most eyeballs and survives on that old childhood game of “Made you look!” This is the basis for their ad revenue which is how they keep their lights on. Politics functions in the same ways. The goal is to shock, startle, divide and recruit. Words like polarized, divided, extremists, radical are designed to stir up emotions and when we are operating emotionally we are rarely thinking rationally.
While none of this is intended to invalidate anything, these days, I regularly remind myself that “The extremes inform the middle.” I also try to visualize pendulums. Knowing while forces swing left and right — ultimately the pendulum always comes to rest in the middle.
I reference this because in my experience most people — if they are willing to settle down and partake in an actual calm discussion, where everyone listens — will arrive at a calm state of agreement on many if not most issues. My very unofficial research has found that we’re all mostly in “the middle” on most issues thought certain ones might level up a variety of emotions.
Small talk is not my strength. Yes I can flirt and joke and kid around — but on some level I’m always trying to get to the heart of people and their perspectives. Those who know me more intimately know that it’s my nature to dive in deeply.
Deep conversations are not always the easiest. They can be uncomfortable. Sometimes, shockingly (!) I don’t even speak — other than asking lots and lots of questions. The questions help me assess the level of someone’s knowledge as well as the depth of their emotions concerning a particular topic. While I certainly have my feelings — I know what I can and can’t control. So my questions are designed to help me to uncover what I may or may not understand. When I’m talking I cannot learn. But when I’m listening, I always have the potential to learn. Then, I can decide what I want to do with the lesson or information.
Thanks for visiting! I’m Dian Griesel, Ph.D. aka @SilverDisobedience I am a perception analyst & hypnotherapist who works with private clients to help increase their awareness of how perceptions impact everything we do whether personally or professionally. Book an appointment here.
I share inspiring and actionable ideas for free via my podcast, on my website: DianGriesel.com and also on my social media accounts which you might like to follow.
