Reflections on Duality

When I start to think in opposites, I try to recognize I’m in opinion-mode and it’s quite likely that I’m heading for trouble or an argument. Zen philosophy (which I read daily) says: “When the opposites arise, the Buddha-Mind (your inner connection with God) Is lost.”

Dualities are learned thinking. They look like this: “I’m right so You must be wrong” or, “That’s pretty, so something otherwise is ugly.” There are dualities everywhere and in much of our thought processes. What happened is as children, our duality-mind formed to help us cope — because society teaches duality as a way to control the masses. The result? When someone disagrees with how we feel, think or see something — we’ve been conditioned to believe that one of us must be wrong. We think that all we need to do is explain our position—and the other will understand their wrongness and our rightness. The argument develops because we think the other cannot possibly be listening to us if they don’t “get our point…our rightness” or worse that we haven’t been clear so we start monologuing ad nauseam…or until everyone’s anger starts to elevate.   

If I see my dual-mindedness as a conditioned mind, one that has been taught that opposites are absolutes (incorrect!), I can try to release this thinking and stop assuming that one must be right or wrong. Instead, maybe I can see different perspectives…allowing them to co-exist and all be “okay”—whether I agree or not. Releasing the restrictions of the dual-mindset is the only way that I can really be open to all the possibilities of life and relationships…which are made up of people who have come from different experiences than I, and are quite likely to think differently from me as well.

When I only want to be right, I’m choosing my rightness over the importance of the other person in my life. In my heart, I know this is wrong.

This is Silver Disobedience™ #wisdom

@DianGriesel @SilverDisobedience @WilhelminaModels @ApertureTalent

#photo by Chamonix McAdam