If or when I ever find myself feeling very adamant about something that I think another should do — I have learned that the Universal Warning System (UWS) is trying to send me a message that perhaps I need to step back and analyze my personal perspectives and motivation behind making those demands.
We most often place demands on others because some conscious or unconscious fear has been triggered. The fear may be substantiated from our personal experience — but it actually has little to do (in most situations) with another’s current situation.
By way of example, let’s say I said to my skateboarding son, “You shouldn’t skateboard.” If I recognize the message from the UWS disguised as a critical thought of another’s choice, I’d stop and ask myself: Why shouldn’t he do something he loves and practices daily? He’s a real good skateboarder. If I did recognized the UWS message, I’d rewire my thought as: I am fearful because I got badly hurt on a skateboard when I was ill prepared to be on it in the first place. My incident has nothing to do with him. Another example could be, telling someone what they should do health-wise. Fact is, their choices about their health are their business — and we’re not privy to the discussions that they’ve had with their doctor. So, how can we ever assume that what we believe is right for our body is right for theirs? Yet another example is: Suppose someone wants to quit their job and join a traveling circus…or anything else. Why should I offer an opinion regarding their career choice unless I’m in charge of their bills or something likewise?
Respect for choice is a two way street and the more we learn to stay in our own lane, the more we grow. Why do we grow? Because when that urge arises to be critical and tell someone what they should be doing — we really received a boatload of information about ourselves that is worthy of self-examination.
Just a little something I’m thinking about…
Thanks for visiting! I’m Dian Griesel, Ph.D. aka @SilverDisobedience I am a perception analyst & hypnotherapist who works with private clients to help increase their awareness of how perceptions impact everything we do whether personally or professionally. Book an appointment here.
I share inspiring and actionable ideas for free via my podcast, on my website: DianGriesel.com and also on my social media accounts which you might like to follow.
