Life has a way of bruising us all, no matter how picture-perfect our upbringings were or were not.
A few years ago, I took five teenage boys to see the movie Mid90s directed by Jonah Hill. It’s exceptional. While some might think it’s a coming-of-age movie or just a flick for skateboarders, it is a movie about getting bruised by life and pushing through anyway. It’s about going way off course and finding the way home. The themes are plentiful and addressed with humor and sensitivity. Best of all? The movie served as a catalyst for a deep conversation that lasted well over an hour with all of the boys chiming in—which in adult time is comparable to two weeks of active conversation.
Rough family lives, challenges though our school years, friends who reject us, trying to fit in, figuring out how we’re going to support ourselves, intimacy that might or might not have been intimate: The bruising starts early and really never stops.
Our suffering is a direct reflection of whether we see our many life experiences as positive lessons and opportunities to grow—or not. If we continue to view them as open wounds that are unable to heal, we suffer.
Peace and clarity are possible. Both start by not believing and retelling stories of our past. Next, we must accept that whatever happened was not personally directed at us. Then, if we keep our attention focused on what is happening in the moment, life improves exponentially. These concepts are the keys to unlocking our compassionate selves so we can truly love ourselves and embrace others.
© Dian Griesel 2025
