Most disagreements are breaks in the harmony of the relationship. However, if we view them as opportunities for growth and learning, we can restore harmony more quickly. Remember, two minds are usually better than one, and we can learn from one another, even during disagreements.
Whether with our partners, children, work associates, or others important to us — it helps to remember that disagreements are not the same as debates. We don’t win by defeating the other: We win by pulling together rather than apart. If we put another on the defensive, set up that proverbial “walking on eggshells” foundation, we will ultimately lose the intimacy of the relationship.
Suppose we can remember that no relationship is ever in 100% agreement and that it’s likely our differences, which brought us together in the first place, are what keep us together. In that case, resentment is less likely to take a destructive hold.
Differences are clues that our unity needs a tweaking. However, they do not weaken our unity. Instead, they are signs that our unity is strong enough to value the fact that something needs to be discussed, heard, and explored for its potential towards stronger possibilities.
Two things are of utmost importance during disagreements: Upholding the respect and maybe love that we have for the other, and remembering that few people will change their point of view in another’s direction in a moment of disagreement. A change of perspective requires private time and contemplation, away from the disagreement. It’s essential to respect and allow that time for ourselves and others to grow and reconnect our thinking.
Photo credit @gk_lola
© Dian Griesel 2025 Perception Dynamics
