Miscommunication occurs in all relationships and usually centers around two categories: The use of words that are either concrete or nominalizations.
Concrete words are specific and definite. Nominalizations are words that are abstract, vague and unspecified, and that cause the listener to search for meaning within their personal frame of reference.
Here are some concrete words: cement; the Atlantic Ocean; “Thursday, January 1, 2020 at midnight EST.” Now look at these nominalizations: love, absolutely, trust, loyalty, friendship, tomorrow, later, next year, someday soon.
Here’s an example of how nominalizations can cause confusion. Suppose we read: “Keep laughing; it’s good for your health.” Would this mean to laugh when the biggest, meanest person trips? Probably not, as that might actually be a good way to get knocked out!
Our communication skills improve exponentially once we learn to identify speech nominalizations—and start asking questions versus making assumptions to gain clarity.
So if someone says, “I’ll get back to you tomorrow” — but you need an answer by noon so you have time to make other plans—this is the time to get specific and request a concrete deadline. Generally, depending upon the nominalization, start asking questions that clarify and clear up any potential for miscommunication.
Miscommunication is forever a part of communication. As Thoreau said, “The language of friendship is not words but meanings.” Not sure of the meaning? Ask for clarification. Unless the words are concrete, rarely will we ever read or hear the same words and draw identical conclusions.
Thanks for visiting! I’m Dian Griesel, Ph.D. aka @SilverDisobedience I am a perception analyst and hypnotherapist who works with private clients — individuals and companies — to help them achieve greater understanding as to how perceptions impact everything we do whether personally or professionally. Book an appointment here.
I share inspiring and actionable ideas for free via my podcast, on my website: DianGriesel.com and also on my social media accounts which you might like to follow.
